Human Beings or Artificial Beings

Women in development sector propagate that Patriarchy is the manifestation of men's dominance over women in the family and in the whole society, and men are upholding this dominance since ages. This theory is reinforced again and again that women are sufferers of patriarchal structure because most of the powers in this system is given to men. But this is rarely questioned that "Is man happy with this concentration of power? and if yes then why and how the women struggle to put a dent in the patriarchal structure would be successful? because it is not possible for the powerless half to grab the power from the powerful half, if the powerful half has no incentive to share this power. Why would a rich person share his/ her wealth with the poor without any incentive? Although there are some men who are women rights activists but some people think they are exceptions or are not rational.

But if we looks closely to the world system we would discover that there is no powerful and powerless beings. We are living in a world, where human beings are becoming a mere product of the system and not human beings in original. Man or woman use to perform in a given framework. They do not question or challenge, and perform whatever the system dictates.  The system is regulated by different tools and means, e.g. culture, economic and social systems (capitalism or communism) religious norms, cast system etc. Everyone has taken strong positions in response to the conditions given to hem/ her and have even forgotten which things really make them happy or sad. They just respond according to the popular norms.

This patriarchy needs some dents, so that these products of system could really become human beings. But in order to put a dent, it is important to first realize its costs not only to women but also to men i.e. the powerful half. Because the realization only by the powerless half is not sufficient and it is already a lost battle. While in order to understand the costs of patriarchy to the powerful half they need to realize how masculinities are constructed in them. This needs to be really researched and publicized that sometimes the concentration of power is also very destructive.

Being a man is always a question of self esteem for men because one has to always perform if he is to be a man. Perform in career and earn money, perform in social circle and make an manly image, perform during sex,  and showoff the  strength, be financially independent and exhibit the wealth and so on and so forth. Everyone has to perform in this manner so that they are given the power of becoming the members of the society. If a men who doesn't find himself a "regular man" as defined by the system; he always has to carry the stigma of the feeling of "less than a man", "defective", "lacking" and not measuring up with the society. These boys or men even don't dare to enter into anything competitive. So the system even sucks, the powerful half of the society as well.

But all these norms are very carefully constructed and upheld since ages. If a man don't earn he is called parasite (while a women is not stigmatized if she doesn't earn) if he wear colorful clothes he is termed as unmanly, if he weeps, he is week, if he is not heterosexual he is sick, if he likes to be at home and like to do the household work, he is the joro ka ghulam (wife's slave).....if he is not aggressive, he is weak, if he weep sometime he is bayghairat (shameful), if he, if he, if he, and the list goes on and on. They are called names by all the people their relatives, friends and peers, etc. People would even give advices to the parents of a male not to bring up their male child with too much of love and affection  otherwise he will become a girl, as if boys need hate and violence to be brought up with. and all these messages (be brave, be strong, not to be emotional, be smart, do sports and outdoor activity, be harsh, not express love etc) are given to the male child since his very childhood very informally by both the segments of society; i.e. the powerful half and the powerless half. The friends, parents, relatives, peers, media, curriculum, teachers and corporations (whose products we consume) gives all these messages all the time, sometimes deliberately and sometimes not deliberately. And this is how masculinities are being constructed in men. And when one starts responding to these messages by confirming to the popular norms, he/ she starts killing his/her inner self. Hence it is a very artificial state of being. It is acting in real life. It is conditioning. The more masculine one is the more unreal he is.

So it's the outside circumstances which determine whether one is a boy or girl, and it not an inside thing. But it's so imposed and it's with so intricacy being worked out and propagated that we have completely internalized it and although it's not natural but we consider it natural.  And now maybe we are carrying centuries of conditioning in our DNA, and this conditioning has now even entered into our genes and affected our evolutionary process.

But conditioning doesn't work on some people and that is the reason that we have some people who have challenged the system. Such men suffer a lot in the initial stage of their lives, because they think they are failures, lacking something and are defective. Sometimes they also desire to die because they think that outside world is hostile to them and they don't want to live in this hostile world. They live with the feeling that they can't live to the expectations of their parents and loved ones but when their understanding of themselves and the world develop; then they are always at peace.

So this system is not supportive to any sex, but it defines some unnatural, norms through which one can gain power. But in order to confirm to those norms one has to kill his/her inner self and just become a "product" of system having no say of oneself. And once he/ she becomes the "product"; he/she start supporting the system by propagating the norms.  And whoever deviates from the system are compelled by the "products" to act in a manner in order to fit in the system. And the irony is that sometimes one even doesn't know that he or she has became the "product". In this whole process we forget that systems are developed for the purpose to support human beings and human beings should not be "developed" for the purpose to support a system.