UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Although I have a great passion for traveling since my childhood and have always made plans to travel all around the world while pasting world map on my room wall but even than I was always doubtful about my plans and have distributed my plans in two categories, considering my resources. 1) realistic plans of traveling i.e. traveling within country and 2) dream plans of traveling i.e. traveling around the world especially via road. I have always pursued hard, my realistic plans and was quite successful in it, but at the same time have fantasized about my dream plans of traveling and have enjoyed dreaming about my dream plans and have enjoyed the dreams.

Having said that; I have never in my life thought that one day I would be able to go to USA and will travel in this big country so extensively within such a short period of time. Thanks to my association with Khwendo Kor which gave me the opportunity to climb up the ladder and travel across the world. Also thanks to the International Visitor Leaders Exchange Programme by the US state department.

Though I had an idea that USA is a big country but to my surprise it turned out to be too much bigger than my imaginations. I knew that within different states of USA there is different culture, language, laws, systems, climate and landscapes etc but to be honest I didn't know that even there is time difference among the different states of USA. This has compelled me to change the image of USA in my mind and consider it a bigger country than I had previously considered it. 

I reached USA after a long journey during which most of the times I was sleeping because I boarded the plane extremely tired. As usual I had to do all my packing just an hour before I had to leave for the airport. The Iranian fellow passengers seated next to me were amazed with my capacity of sleeping; and they shared this with me almost in the end of the journey. To amaze them more I said that I still have the desire to sleep even now, and that was true. I landed in Dulles International Airport and was received warmly by Aggie. I am supposed to visit 5 different states and visit different organizations and people, along with 5 other women from different countries and Aggie is going to accompany us throughout our trip.

Washington DC always sounded to me, a very gorgeous kind of place and no doubt it is. There is a majesticness in its landscape and buildings. The Melrose hotel also carried the same feeling. DC is called the city of monuments and all of them add to the grandeur of the city. We visited most of the monuments in the city and I loved the Vietnam monument, the most which is a "V" shaped Memorial Wall. The walls are sunk into the ground, with the earth behind them. The soldiers' names that were killed in the war are inscribed on the walls. There is heaviness in the atmosphere of the area.

There was a huge hue and cry about the snow storm in Washington DC on March 2, 2014 and all the appointments and meetings were cancelled. In the middle of the night when the storm started, me and my other Pakistani fellow; Madeeha came out on the back door of Melrose hotel and started enjoying the snow, not knowing that the door is one way and one can't go inside the hotel on the same door. We had to take a big round and enter to the hotel via its front door in our night suites, entertaining the people in the lobby. In the morning we went out shopping on the same snow storm day and enjoyed the walk. Aggie was also an industrious women and she took us on a long walk on this very same stormy day. We went to the Potamic river view in the town in the freezing cold.  In the evening one of my Pakistani friends came all the way from Maryland to meet me, as it was the only free time with me. Although that is another story of its own kind.

The meeting/ session with Akram Elias about the U.S. system of government, its decentralized nature and the decision making process was an eye opener. The way he explained the political, cultural and economic context, was excellent.  He explained how the freedoms have given space to the emergence and strengthening of invisible forces which automatically regulate each other, and bring about a balance in the whole system. One of the main forces is the civil society. And hence there is little need to control the market forces and/ or establish censor boards to regulate the economy and/ or society. The main responsibility of the government is to protect the individual from the group. The concept of individualism was getting a bit clearer in my mind. The way he explained individualism is a completely different idea from what we were told and taught about the individualism. For some time I was captured with the idea that this system is perfect and should be implemented all over the world but after some time I recalled my own context and realized that each system is context specific. I wish I could spend some more time with him but all of my other colleagues were tired and were cursing me as I had indulged him in a discussion. Throughout the trip the extracts from his lecture were with me.

The International Women of Courage Award Ceremony was a high level event and the women who were given award were all very very inspiring women. It was no doubt an honor to have attended this ceremony where such inspiring women were given awards and Michelle Obama was the chief guest. In my view the ceremony could have been more interesting event, though.

The private tour of the United States Capitol took us through the history of the building and the United States Congress. The building was glorious and the tour was wonderful.

Sewall‑Belmont House and Museum narrates the history of the women’s movement in America especially the campaign for equal rights and women’s suffrage. The museum carried a history within itself displaying many banners, documents, pieces of furniture, and other artifacts of the women's suffrage and equal rights movement, as well as sculptures and portraits of women involved in the movement in the end of 19 and beginning of 20th century.   The struggle of those women seemed to me like the campaign against hudod aurdanence in Pakistan. It seems as if American women have kept pace with it while we have lost it (maybe).

The city I loved in USA the most was Saettle in Washington State, because I like scenic places and Saettle is one of such city in USA. The flight from Washington DC to Washington State is 5 hours and there is a time difference as well. I was not expecting but when I was heading from airport toward hotel I was in "wow" state of mind. My room was on 18th floor of the hotel and still there was view of sky high buildings from my room window, which was amazing.

The morning walk with Madeeha on the seaside was wonderful. The air was fish, scenery was green and the area was neat and clean. Latter on we had a plan to go to Bremerton island via cruse. Zarghona- another fellow from Afghanistan; askd me to take her along, because she is not used-to go out alone in strange places and otherwise she would stay at hotel. Among all the fellows she was only frank with me because we both shared the same language and culture i.e. we both are Pakhtuns; though belonging to different countries. I agreed to take her but on the condition that she will come back to hotel alone independently. We three went to Brimenton in the cruse which was a great enjoyment. Brimenton seemed to me a "no man's place". There were houses, parks, markets, roads, rivers and even vehicles etc but one would rarely see human being. Zarghona has very beautiful hair but she would cover them all the time hence we forced her to open her hair and click some pictures; because there was no one to look at her. We all enjoyed alot and came back to Saettle. On the way back to the hotel, I left alone Zarghona in a shop while she wanted sketcher to draw a sketch of her name.  I requested the sketcher to make her stay for long, so that she may not be able to follow us and come independently. I came back to my room and started waiting for Zarghona  and was bit worried in my heart. Thank god she reached back her hotel room and called me and cursed me in pashtu.

Olympia- the capital of Washington seems to be a smaller and calmer city than Seattle. Mr. Evan was our host in the capital city who was one of the cutest guys we met during out visit; but as we were prestigious visitors representing our countries therefore we were supposed to act decently. And so we did act decently.  After all the different meeting Kicking Up Our Heels” Reception was an inspiring event organized by The Center for Women and Democracy (CWD) who support and appreciate women leaders in all walks of life without considering their political and social affiliations. We were also called on the stage as women leaders to show solidarity with the women all over the world. It is always wonderful to know how united these women and are not considering their affiliation and backgrounds. Just being women have made them united.

The speed dating- oh sorry the speed mentorship event was a cute experience, where many professional women were gathered and were introducing themselves to each other within 3 minutes. I will definitely exercise it here in my work. Leadership Workshop with Collective Changes facilitated by Gail and Dee was a women-exclusive programme which stirred enthusiasm in us.

The visit to Saettle girls’ school was also an interesting occasion. The school was "just for girls" school with the ideology that studying in "just girls schools" infuse a great level of confidence in girls. We; the visitors from another world were taken to a 6th grade where the girls were exposed to the realities of our world via having a small discussion with us, and then they were supposed to present what they have learnt from us; whatever they learnt. To be honest I was a bit disappointed by the response of girls as they seemed least interested in us. Maybe we were too boring to inspire the girls or maybe they had something else interesting coming up next. But I was thinking that girls in a Pakistani school would take too much interest in such an event.

Shopping and eating was also great in Seattle, but as I have turned a complete vegetarian so I always have to face difficulty in finding right place; and people with me are also at unease. My Afghani fellows would always want to eat in Mecdonelds while I am an anti Mecdonoled. But that is good that french fries are always available and I would eat it; if nothing else is available. Pike Place Market is a nice place to browse in, but due to globalization now everything is available everywhere and there are very little things left which could amaze one in a new place and turn one on. 

The home hospitality lunch at the Ms. Alida Latham place followed by the discussion with the Worldly women; who work on social issues was interesting. One important question which was discussed at length was that whether people welcome the foreign interventions in their communities (especially the developing world) even if they are for their betterment. The conclusion we drew was that intervention is important for bringing about change but the process needs to be looked at and chalked out carefully. And if there is a resistance than it is better not to intervene at all because such resistance damages the whole cause.

Aggie used to get annoyed when somebody is late especially when we are leaving for airport or train station. Excited for a train trip to Portland-Oregon, I packed my things earlier and lied down on bed but went to sleep. And my capacity to sleep is such that I was late and Aggie has to get annoyed.

We had to travel by train to Portland, and I was so excited to have this experience. It was a cozy train having not too much passengers. There was a good canteen in one of the coach and I and Madeeha ate some good food. I had my vagi burger and Maddi had some fish. We sat on that eating coach for quite some time and discussed each other lives and laugh out loud without considering passengers coming and going. It was fun there.

Unlike Seattle, Portland was not a city of big building; it was calmer and casual. As we did not have complementary breakfast in Benson Hotel hence we have to go out and explore new places for breakfast. Starbuks turned out to be the best place for breakfast. There were lots of homeless persons on the streets of Portland who would always ask for atleast a cigarette. Whole food Market is also the best place to eat in.  

There are good souvenirs available in a shop in the building of World Affairs council. Miniature metallic horse carts and trains and wood stamps of old time. But to my surprise; all of them were "made in China".  China even makes city specific souvenirs for other countries and stamp "made in China" on it; this sounds irony to me.

The enthusiasm of Leanne was great in the meeing. She is the president of VoteERA.org which works for the equal rights amendments in America. I loved the level of her energy about her cause. Although it had nothing to do with me or my part of the world but I really applauded her efforts and her passion. Although aggie was of the opinion that there are more pressing issues to be addressed, but I like the idea. Maybe I am also kind of crazy like Leanne. She gave us her campaign T-shirts saying “vote Equal Rights Amendment for women”. I contributed in her campaign via wearing that shirt in the evenings and roaming around in markets. Some people pointed towards me and some passed mixed remarks.   

Dr. Melody Rose the Interim Chancellor of the Oregon University System inspired me. In her circle she used to be the only woman and she explained how she has to deal with all the men politics. One thing she said and which struck me was that women in any organization have a very little tendency to understand and control finances. Most of the times women lead the programme and are in its soul but don't indulge in financial matter. And this indulgence is crucial to success. I can really relate to this conclusion in my part of the world, and which is a very interesting phenomena.

World pulse run by young women (and one young man member) is a global media and communication network devoted to bringing women a global voice by publishing their stories in major media outlets and influential forums. The team was dynamic and enthusiastic.

We were invited to home hospitality in different places, but the hospitality by Esther Freeman was really the homelike and intimate one. The reason is that she was accompanied by fellows from India. And hence we started speaking in Urdu or maybe Hindi with fellow Indians. They are the same kind of languages but we call it Urdu in Pakistan and Indians call it Hindi in India; and this situation is called a dilemma. Coming back to the hosts; Anandhi, though Indian was a great fan of Imran Khan, not as a politician but as a cricketer hero and star. And as I don't like Imran Khan because of his rightist stance, so I and Anandhi had a good deal of discussion. That was very interesting. Ester was formal in the beginning but after a bit of discussion she shared that her daughter has extreme views about sexual identities and does not hide her very much pro LGBTI ideas. Esther did not invite her for this dinner because she thought we would not be welcoming to the idea of a person having such ideas. I think she was right in her perception about Pakistanis and Afghans. But I think I altered those perceptions a little bit.

Minh Ha from the bus project has rebellious ideas and Agiee did like them but I winked at her saying that she is not alone. She should keep it up.

The “community service activity” was interesting partially because Susan- the incharge of the community service, is an interesting personality and partially because one of our fellow Zarghona could not understand the activity because of her weak understanding of English language. St. Francis Dining Hall was interesting but not a very neat and clean place. It was messy with lots of homeless people with their belongings all around. We sat on one of the table with Susan who was interested in linguistics like my father, and we introduced ourselves. While we were talking; Zarghona left the table and walked out saying she is going to bring her cell phone. We thought she did not like the environment, and the idea that she will be feeding these homeless "dirty" people (although I was not convinced by this fact). While we all were chatting; Aggie went out after her and brought her back. Upon asking, she responded that she thought we were here to have our lunch and as she was not hungry, that is why she went out. That was the funniest thing ever happened. The event started and Susan asked me to say a prayer or thank God, on behalf of the group; I have not prayed to God since ages so I just said that as we all are humans and we are influencing this world in good or bad manner so we should always be conscious whatever we do. We served the people in the hall and enjoyed the cleaning in the end. The most beautiful was the Susan's tight hug in the end.

Powell’s City of Books is the largest independent bookstore in the United States, I was almost lost in the book store. It is such a big store that one should have a map of the store to find places in the store. I bought some books which are usually not available in Pakistan. I would call those books as pro-science, while some people call them "bad" books. But I was also conscious about the weight of my bag.

Another hectic air travel to Louisville, Kentucky is yet to be carried out. I am calling it hectic because we had connecting flights, which I really don't like. We had to depart on Delta Airlines to Minneapolis, Minnesota and then ultimately to Louisville, Kentucky. While traveling from the airport to Hotel our Nepali fellow informed us that tomorrow was the Holi in Nepal. Hence we planned to go to a Mandar or a hundu community centre, tomorrow (before or after visiting Mohammad Ali Centre) if Aggie could arranged. And I was sure that she would be able to arrange it because she was resourceful to a greater extent. We reached around 11 pm to Springhill Suites in Louisville- the city of Mohammad Ali Clay and slept as and when we reached.

Mohammad Ali centre was huge beyond my imagination. Though I was not so much of his fan because of his multiple marriages and having some extreme religious views but I believe that he is a legend. His "Taking stand on issues even though standing alone" attitude is a rare attribute. One whole day was so less to go through all the stuff in the Mohammad Ali centre. There were quotes, animations, movies, documentaries, museum of his personal things and what not in the centre. I did not know he has so much to tell to people about himself. The centre itself is a piece of art. The beautiful thing among all is the Rudyard Kiplin poem in documentary. This reminded me of my secondary school, as it was in our course book. That is;  

If you can keep your head when all about you   

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

Or walk with Kings—not lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

I had learnt this poem by heart in my secondary school and had forgotten. I am glad I revised it;   

Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is another attraction for all the fellows to visit. But before going there we visited Mandar to celebrate Holi, but unluckily it was over when we reached there. KFC was a good experience; thanks to potatoes- (fried or mashed) always and everywhere available for all vegetarians.

The evening in Hillbilly Tea to celebrate Kentucky's African American heritage was a great evening. Kentucky writers, musicians, and Eastern Kentuckians shared their work and personal stories in celebration of the unique beauty, ecological importance, and cultural heritage. Hillbilly tea is a nice cozy restaurant where so many people had gathered to celebrate this evening that we had to carry some chairs for us upstairs to the place where the celebrations was going on. I loved the drinks in bottle kind of containers. I had my Hillbilly Tea in it along with some sautéed spinach while listening to the music and stories. I gave my seat to someone else in the end and sat on the floor so to enjoy all the happening in its full spirit and to click some good photos. Most of the times happiness is all about feeling the sentiments of other beings or even just learning about others.

The Emerge Kentucky and Louisville Women’s Political Caucus reminded me of Kicking Up Our Heels” reception by The Center for Women and Democracy (CWD) in Olympi. Emerge Kentucky is a political leadership training program for Democratic women in the state of Kentucky while Louisville Women’s Political Caucus works to increase women’s participation in the political process and to identify, recruit, train and support feminist women for election and appointment to public office. The lunch at the residence of Bobbi Jo was very interesting. Not only because the women who were gathered were inspiring but the tomato soup, was also out of this world. Bobbi Jo promised to email us the recipe. I wish we could also have an "Emerge Khyber Pakhtunkhwa" and "Peshawar women political caucus" in its true essence and I also wish I could cook such tasty tomato soup.  We also met with young republicans in Kentucky.

Meeting in Kentucky Sister Visitor Center was an eye opener. The situation of human trafficking and especially girls and the plight of refugees were not very pleasant. Sister Visitor Center takes up the issues of refugees and trafficked persons, and they are doing wonderful job. Thank god I did not see any Pakistani refugee there; otherwise I would have felt depressed. Manju saw a Nepali couple who were not very happy with the situation, because most of the times people from the developing countries come to US with lots of expectations, which is not the reality.

Gretchen Hunt, Candidate for Kentucky State Legislature was a bright person with a vision. She has a legal background work specifically on issues related to sexual assault. She suggested me to take part in politics when I am back home. To be honest she inspired me. We also visited the Courier-Journal office largest paper in the Louisville. I could not swallow the idea of a newspaper extremely being A-political. Courier-Journal used to present the news, "as it is"; without any specific perspective. This might be a scenario in USA but is not the case in our countries.

I loved the gathering organized by the world affairs in Kantaky. This is human nature that when people listen to you and adore and admire you; you are happy. A wonderful discussion took place among the participants regarding power play in gender relations; my favorite topic. I really felt good to know that the Pakistani communities are quite respected here. The Saffron’s Restaurant where this event took place was Iranian style and I ordered Fesenjan- a famous Iranian dish consists of rice and pomegranate and walnut stew; but to be honest I didn't like it much. While coming out of restaurant I was told by a group of senior persons that they enjoyed my talk and learned from it. I don't know they were honestly speaking or were just too much courteous; but they made my day.  

Finally heading to New York. I was so excited to see New York as everybody has kept on telling me that it is the most amazing city in the world. The air travel was boring as usual but the plane was small and casual. I left my window seat for Zarghona as she was interested in clicking the pictures. She became busy with her pictures and I became busy with my sleep.

We reached Hampton Inn in Manhattan around 2 pm. The city of so many people, so many buildings and so many vehicles.  Everything and everyone was everywhere and was in too much quantity, so much so that suddenly I felt saturated.

Though it was not my plan for today but I called my friend Sameena that I am here and can meet. Interestingly she said her husband is in Manhattan and can pick me. Tawheed came to pick me and we went to Valley Stream where they live. It was a peaceful place. But it is another story that there was no peace inside Sameena's home because of her 3 kids Gul Makay, Awais and the cute new comer Zalan. Sameena and her husband would talk in pure Pashtu while their kids would just talk in pure American English, even if they all are interacting with each other. I ate lobya (Kidny beans)- my favorite food ever and was dropped off by Sameena and her husband to the station for coming back to my hotel. I reached Manhattan very late and it was heavily raining but Manhattan has such planned construction and has a simple grid kind of map that I decided to walked back to  Hampton Inn from penn station. It was an interesting walk in the streets of an unfamiliar city, around 12 am with my pathetic sense of direction, while it was raining cats and dogs and I had no umbrella (It reminded me of the song Ajnaby shehar k ajnaby rastay……..)  But ultimately I reached.

The meetings in UN offices i.e. UN women and UNHCR were quite informative. Although I was more interested in UN Women but the meeting in UNHCR captivated me more. The reason was the passion exhibited by John Solecki UNHCR-Senior Policy Advisor. Of all the people who work for some “cause”; I found John Solecki, very much interested in his work or I might have watched the movie "Beyond Borders" just recently. I was not only impressed by his concern about refugees situation all around the world but also loved the analysis he was doing. He mentioned that the cricket team of Afghanistan is developed in the streets of Pakistan and this is the positive aspect of a community becoming refugee. In any kind of development or social work the analysis is very important. I think one should always reflect back and see which action has impacted, which segment of the society and in what manner. A positive action might have a negative impact while a negative action might have a positive impact. But again this positives and negatives are always very subjective.

Financial Women’s Association (FWA) of New York again reminded me of Emerge Kentucky and Louisville Women’s Political Caucus. And to be honest, now I am feeling jealous. Why can't we have such unity among the women around me? FWA accelerate the success and leadership of women in the financial community across all industries by advancing careers, fostering alliances and preparing the current and next generation of professionals in New York.

Meeting at Equality Now was the final item of the show. Though Kristen Berg could not explained appropriately why it is so difficult to get results quickly in an advocacy work especially regarding women rights issues in countries like Pakistan, but as I know the context and the work so I could understand.

I also went to Atlantic city in new Jersey with Manju, Madeeha and Mustafa and went to casinos. Although these casinos were much more advanced and luxurious then the ones I saw in Nepal but I guess they were more crowded and were full of energy than these in USA. Most of the activity was going on with machines and the human beings were interacting very little while the casinos in Nepal had more of energetic human element. But there is no doubt that the experience of going to the Atlantic City was an experience of its own kind.

To my surprise the people of USA (or those with whom I interacted in USA) are more inward looking than outward looking. I don't consider it a good or bad quality but it is unlike us. Maybe it is because of our circumstances, which have compelled us to get involved in international politics. A regular educated and well learned American (even if they are local politicians) would bother less about Africa, UK, China, Russia, Afghanistan, Iraq or Middle East etc. They would be thinking more about their own street's garbage disposal, their county's budget, local events happening, the laws recently enacted and football or at most the voters' rights and responsibilities and equal rights' amendment in the USA constitution and campaigning about it and climate change. But interestingly if a farmer in a field in Pakistan is asked about the condition of his harvest this year, his response would include reference to some international political event whether it is linked to China, India, USA, Afghanistan or the USA existence in Afghanistan; his impression can be positive or negative.

I have also noticed this attitude in myself. Other fellows in my group were from Afghanistan and Nepal. Being a Pashtun, I have my own opinions about the state of affairs in Afghanistan and hence would jump into any discussion about Afghanistan during our meetings. As I was not only sharing the borders but was also sharing culture and language. Our Nepali Fellow that is Manju was speaking so good Urdu/ Hindi; that we Pakistanis got very much comfortable with her. But while reflecting back I have realized that these fellows form other countries have lesser interest about Pakistan and have little opinions about the state of affair in Pakistan. Or maybe unlike me they were mature enough to limit their discussion to their own countries and do not bother themselves in international politics.

The journy of coming back was again a long boring air travel but I watched lots of movies. While transiting at Doha airport I met with a friend from Nepal which was a pleasant surprise. The flight from Doha to Peshawar was an experience because it seems as if I just switched swimming in a sea to swimming in a stream. There were some disturbance happenings around me for example, a women was arguing with the air hostess that she would not sit with a male passenger, the man sitting next to me was uncomfortably avoiding me, and the flight with 95 % of male passengers. I had to volunteer to end up argument between the air hostess and woman passenger and to make my fellow male passenger at ease.

Ultimately reaching back home and eating parata and sag; home sweet home.